Steve Update

In a previous post I wrote about Steve, a young man who I could not have been more proud of for graduating high school, which was no small feat for Steve.  I am heartbroken to report that Steve took his own life on Saturday, June 30...two weeks shy of his 18th birthday, 3 short weeks after his graduation.  While keeping the details private, there are several indications that it was intentional.  Sadly, there was one last Facebook posting.

I could easily get angry with his Facebook friends...Why didn't they do anything?  How come they didn't call someone?  Well, the fact is, Steve felt he didn't have any friends and his last posting, while riddled with despair, didn't specifically say what was about to happen.

What about his mom?  Steve's mom had, quite frankly, been a pain in my ass.  She called me often, for good or for bad.  She would call to thank me one day, and then complain about a teacher the next day.  She would call for advice, for guidance, or sometimes just to talk, it seemed.  You know what made her a unique parent?  She cared.  She tried.  She called for help, for advice, for guidance.  When Steve wouldn't want to come to school one day, she would call me to say "What am I supposed to do?  He won't get out of bed?".  In one of our many tear-filled conversations over the past few days, I told her that she can take comfort in knowing she tried everything she could.  Steve chose to continue to use drugs. 

One thing (of many) that I have learned over the past few days is this:  It is HARD to be the boss, when really all I want to be is a person.  I had to say out loud to myself, "Hold it together Lori.  You're the boss." before making the initial phone calls to the staff.  I had to remain as professional as possible when informing mom of the final Facebook post.  Mom has asked that I give a eulogy at the funeral.  Man, am I struggling with that.  I am doing it because I am humbled and honored that she would think so much of me.  I'm terrified that I won't due Steve or his mom justice in my speech.  I'll keep you posted.....as life does indeed go on.